If anyone like me is still looking for ways to help out victims of Hurricane Sandy, the organization Urban Librarians Unite is holding a book drive for children's books. Many public library collections were decimated. And since many NYC libraries are acting as community centers, and a safe haven for affected families, they could use help. Donating to the book fund is one way to get involved.
http://urbanlibrariansunite.org/2012/11/05/sandy-childrens-book-relief/
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Saturday, December 22, 2012
Hospital Stays are not my Cup of Tea
My partner J recently donated an organ to a family member for transplant, as a life saving measure. I was lucky enough to be able to stay with him in the hospital for the surgery and the hardest part of his recovery. Unfortunately, because the family member and hospital reside across the country from us, J needs to remain out of state for the next month or so for home based recovery.
I thank my lucky stars that J and his family member came through the surgery without a hitch. The nurse working in the OR kept their family and I updated every couple of hours as to the progress of the two patients. Everything went as planned.
J came out of surgery and slept much of the next 12 hours and was actually in good spirits the 12 hours after that. Then the anesthesia wore off, and despite intravenous pain medication, he was in a hellish amount of pain. Things were up and down for the next week. Sometimes, he would feel well enough to walk and eat a bit of "red" Jell-O. Other times, it was all I could do not to strangle the well-meaning staff for opening the door every 5 minutes to draw labs, take vital signs, and most infuriatingly of all, change the barely filled trash at 3AM.
This is how hospitals work. Everyone has their job to do and tasks to complete like any other job. But it is infuriating to see someone I love, who is in pain, only get a few moments of desperately needed sleep at a time because someone needs to check something off a To-Do list. Sometimes all I could do is hold his hand, kiss his forehead, and alternately lay siege to the nurse's station. Those were not my finest hours.
We had some angels with us. A few really caring staff members to help tend to the pain with dignity and compassion, and others to motivate (from gently prodding to full on reality checks). Those people are the one's that I really credit with the fact that J is now out of the hospital and recovering on his own. They got him to walk, and to eat, and told him that it was okay to relax in spite of it all.
To many of the doctors, though they did their jobs well, he just seemed to be an outcome. They pushed him too hard too fast and extended many of his hardships. So if any of our angels read this blog, however improbably, thank you. Thank you for being human and real and treating us the same. Thank you for the ice chips, the hot packs, the extra blankets and popsicles you did not have to give. Thank you for caring!
J is staying at his family's house and is now recovering nicely, a little bit closer to normal every day. His family, the transplant recipient, was released but following some setbacks was re-admitted to the hospital. His doctors believe they are minor/routine complications that are easily fixable. And he does seem to be improving with treatment. But the setbacks still wear on all our hearts, J's especially.
I am back at home now and several thousand miles from J. So I cannot be there to hold his hand through the hard times. Thank god for cell phones and video call apps. There is nothing to do now but for all of us to put one foot in front of the other and hope for the best. I cannot wait for J to come home safe.
I thank my lucky stars that J and his family member came through the surgery without a hitch. The nurse working in the OR kept their family and I updated every couple of hours as to the progress of the two patients. Everything went as planned.
J came out of surgery and slept much of the next 12 hours and was actually in good spirits the 12 hours after that. Then the anesthesia wore off, and despite intravenous pain medication, he was in a hellish amount of pain. Things were up and down for the next week. Sometimes, he would feel well enough to walk and eat a bit of "red" Jell-O. Other times, it was all I could do not to strangle the well-meaning staff for opening the door every 5 minutes to draw labs, take vital signs, and most infuriatingly of all, change the barely filled trash at 3AM.
This is how hospitals work. Everyone has their job to do and tasks to complete like any other job. But it is infuriating to see someone I love, who is in pain, only get a few moments of desperately needed sleep at a time because someone needs to check something off a To-Do list. Sometimes all I could do is hold his hand, kiss his forehead, and alternately lay siege to the nurse's station. Those were not my finest hours.
We had some angels with us. A few really caring staff members to help tend to the pain with dignity and compassion, and others to motivate (from gently prodding to full on reality checks). Those people are the one's that I really credit with the fact that J is now out of the hospital and recovering on his own. They got him to walk, and to eat, and told him that it was okay to relax in spite of it all.
To many of the doctors, though they did their jobs well, he just seemed to be an outcome. They pushed him too hard too fast and extended many of his hardships. So if any of our angels read this blog, however improbably, thank you. Thank you for being human and real and treating us the same. Thank you for the ice chips, the hot packs, the extra blankets and popsicles you did not have to give. Thank you for caring!
J is staying at his family's house and is now recovering nicely, a little bit closer to normal every day. His family, the transplant recipient, was released but following some setbacks was re-admitted to the hospital. His doctors believe they are minor/routine complications that are easily fixable. And he does seem to be improving with treatment. But the setbacks still wear on all our hearts, J's especially.
I am back at home now and several thousand miles from J. So I cannot be there to hold his hand through the hard times. Thank god for cell phones and video call apps. There is nothing to do now but for all of us to put one foot in front of the other and hope for the best. I cannot wait for J to come home safe.
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